College, and beyond

To say I was a handful throughout the last four years of college is an understatement, which is probably why I’m having a hard time “officially” closing that chapter on this blog. I don’t know where to begin because quite frankly, I’ve had a lot of “beginnings,” from various organizations I joined to making friends who are now barely acquaintances.

But I think it’s unfair to post about anything else before I write the obligatory college entry, so, here I am, one week after graduation, trying to put everything in a nutshell.

For now I would like to ignore the Atenean tendency and not talk about magis, men for others, excellence or service that my education instilled in me. Do I believe in those ideals? Yes. Do I believe I have practiced them? Definitely. But I remember being an awkward freshman once and being unaware of what all of those values were supposed to mean. Really, that’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you didn’t graduate with an inkling of a social conscience then I don’t know where underneath St. Ignatius rock (which to my non-Atenean readers is our patron saint btw) you were living.

Those phrases, as nice as they sound, are representations of what I’m expected to learn. And I did, but not without getting lost, drunk at times, crying,  utterly ashamed, guilty, embarrassed and slightly heartbroken and betrayed first. What I remember most about college are the moments I didn’t really know anything at all (even though I thought I did.)

To me college is about the trifecta of experience, exposure and experimentation, which I believe plays a big factor in most aspects of love, life and career. College is about growing as a person, and you achieve that once you get most (if not everything) out of your system first. Change your hair. Take a risk. Make a mistake. College is the playground that grants you that freedom high school didn’t and the safety net that the real world won’t. You know what you genuinely like once you do what you don’t like, right?

I was a lot of things throughout college, but if anything, it only brought me closer to understanding who I really am and what I am capable of doing. Meeting all kinds of people from different backgrounds and with colorful personalities only made me see the people I can truly call my friends or the like-minded spirits I want to spend my time with. But each one, regardless of whether or not we’re only acquaintances now, taught me a thing or two about college and how to deal with the life beyond it. And for that, I am forever grateful. Thank you.

I can be…

...that ACOMM Vice President for Projects/career/ empowered woman/busy bee/

... Party girl, circa post-high school/ original Power Hour kid days

... Thespian, circa Blue Repertory/ All Shook Up Days

... Hipster, circa Status Magazine days (okay maybe people still call me this haha)

I can be part of these great community’s and barkadas.

a3 blockmates

URock days at NU 107. TRL = The Rica and Lisane Show

Student facilitator, circa INTACT days

UAAP family circa courtside days

NCAA girls circa courtside days

NCAA boys circa courtside days

ACOMM <3

Ateneo Student Leaders Assembly, Batch 9 and Facci core Batch 10

Blue Repertory

Singles group and extended family

ILTGN throughout the years

Original Power Hour days when Michi, Cara (and even myself) were still there

To the different boys who have taught me a thing or two about like and love

Guidon (Beyond Loyola and G magazine)

Xanland condomates

But the best part about college is coming full circle to the people who stuck with me from the very start.

My favorite girls

Facundo family

The working world awaits and more change is bound to come my way. I might not end up in the job of my dreams, and who knows what kind of personalities I might have to deal with. But one thing college taught me is that change is inevitable. Embrace it and you’ll continue to find yourself and the people who will stick around along the way.

Radiocracy

“Why the hell am I putting myself through all this stress?”

I constantly ask myself that question whenever I’m pushing myself and taking a risk. It’s not a bad thought to have. It’s a way to check and balance my work, keep myself driven (from dying, rather) and stay true to my original intentions. Last semester, Radiocracy, my thesis with Job, was one of those risks.

Almost a year has gone by since I first sent a DM via Twitter to him about the idea to  pioneer an Internet Radio program in Ateneo. Currently no campus radio station exists in school so I thought it would be cool to start and be part of something that could possibly be bigger than ourselves.

But that’s also what made it so scary, not to begin with, but to continue with some time  in the middle when it’s no longer just an idea but not exactly a reality either.

Plus, as ex-URock Dj’s and courtside reporters, talking is something Job and I enjoy doing. I’m planning to build a career on talking (broadcasting.) So, thesis was my excuse to revisit those Monday nights boarding in NU 107 which was always the high light of my week.

There are many ways to survive thesis. Every senior can give you their advice and insight. For me, I only have one:

As I said earlier, look at it as an excuse. An excuse to look like crap; to say no to a party/inuman you don’t feel like going to; to be anti social; to learn something new; to be an expert on a theory for future pretentious intellectual purposes; to meet (oggle) at Kirk Long; to ask Fr. Dacanay if he’s ever been in love before; to bitch and be in a bad mood; to cram 3 2-hour episodes in 2 school days; to push yourself; to be independent; to do or revisit something you love.

Thesis defense = excuse for comm majors to wear heels and dress up!

“Why the hell am i putting myself through all this stress?”

Well, for one thing thesis is required for graduation. So, if you’re going to be stressed out, you might as well stress out for all the excuses it’s worth, right?

Or for all the pictures its worth.

Download our podcasts here or see our fb page here 

Me: Job, what should we talk about today?

Job: I don’t know. I haven’t had the time to read or do anything interesting lately

Me: Me too. I just want to sleep. 

(Pause. We’re going on in 5 minutes.)

Both of us: Shit hahaha. How sad. 

In the Huddle with the Blue Eagles

Guests: Kirk Long, Kiefer Ravenna, Coach Sandy Arespacochaga

Me (to Kirk): Would you dye your hair blue if we make it to the finals?

Kirk:  I would

Me: How about you Kiefer?

Kiefer: Hahaha maybe if Coach Sandy does

(Remembering this interview from memory)

Dissecting the Discourse of student politics. 

Guests: Sanggu President Crew Capuyoc, The Assembly President Stefi Sales, Guidon Associate Editor Luther Aquino

What Would Fr. Dacanay Say: A Love and Relationship Forum

Job: Father, have you ever been in love?

Fr. Dacanay: Next question!

Role reversal. I get to ask the legendary Fr. Dacanay, infamous for his terror oral exams the questions!

(Mis)adventures with JTA and Student Interns

Guests: Arbie Baguios, Iya Joson, Lisha Bornilla

Pictured below: With Ms. Aisa and the ACOMM internet radio team! We couldn’t have done it without their help!

Job and Rica signing out :)

Cheers to 2010!

What I love about anticipating the new year is reminiscing about the one that just passed. It’s a unique kind of conclusion that you can only arrive at once you’re nearing the end of an experience. Each of those 365 days may be unique and separate on its own, but as a whole, it’s interesting to see that there’s actually a common thread you didn’t even realize that you were subconsciously spinning. It ties the year together in a simple knot, and maybe if it’s been a good year, with a lavish bow as well.

That’s what I’ve noticed after doing these end-of-the-year recaps for 3 years. 2008 was a series of life changing moments. 2009 was about meeting people who’ve impacted me greatly. Now, after compiling this year’s review, 2010′s recurrent theme was this: investing in myself, pursuing the things that I wanted to do, and truly starting not to give a f*ck about what anyone else thought.

Overall, it was a good year that pushed and pulled me in all kinds of unexpected directions. It broke through my apathetic facade that  for once I cried (a lot) – for the good times and the bad, for the hopes and the disappointments, for taking the risk and then falling, for the moments when life felt shitty and the friends and family who helped me flush that shit down the toilet afterwards.

I feel that 2010 was the year I truly came to be – with my friends, family, work and most importantly myself, that I expect 2011 to continue being anything and everything but less. Cheers to my 2010 ! Thank you to those who made it particularly intoxicating!

Shameless plug?

It was only recently brought to my attention that my picture is on Chalk & Rebound Magazine. So, this entry is either 1. a shameless plug or 2. shameless vanity. Either way I guess just grab a copy now?

NCAA & UAAP court side reporters. I have no idea what this article is about but all i know is that I look kinda masungit haha.

This is for the URock jocks. I think I said something about tips for Christmas shopping for your boyfriend. I should’ve put a disclosure that 1. I’ve never ever shopped for a boyfriend because 2. I’ve never had one and 3. I’m not really the shopping type.

Courtside conclusions

Paul Riceour says that identity is remaining the same throughout the changes which is exactly how I can sum up my stint with UAAP/NCAA. It’s only been my first year court side reporting and already I’ve represented 2 different schools in 2 different leagues under 3 different coaches. Whew. If that’s not change then I don’t know what is!

Undoubtedly, this season has been quite the ride for me, especially with the whole UAAP debacle. Personally, it was a test of character, purpose and growth. I had to make important decisions not for anyone else but myself which is difficult when there are just so many voices telling you what they think is right for you. At times even my own thoughts contradicted themselves.

But I found that when push came to shove the best choice was to listen to the one that got me started in the first place. The one that was still pure and untainted by the marks of circumstance. I had to ask myself again: Why did I audition to become a court side reporter to begin with?

Whether it was NCAA or UAAP or FEU or EAC, at the end of the day it was a basketball game to me and the rules were pretty much the same no matter where I was. I still got everything I hoped to gain: experience, growth and most importantly, a lot of cool stories to share. Everything else was just a plus.

After one of my games I remember telling my parents how much fun I was having and how much I enjoyed my team including the players and the coaches. And although my parents were initially against my decision to join NCAA, they could see from the smile on my face or from the enthusiasm of my kwento that I had made the right choice. The end doesn’t justify the means. The means is the end itself.

Like the Generals who are only on their second year in NCAA I was fairly new at this. At the beginning of the season we were both just names who no one really knew the story behind. And that was the task given to me by my producer hours before I reported for my first game. Not only did she say that she expected a lot from me but she challenged me to find out and share who the Generals were on and off court. And I think by finding their story, I found my own.

So, thank you to the boys and coaching staff of the EAC Generals who made me feel at home with NCAA. Thank you to ABS who gave me this opportunity in the first place including all the FD’s I made friends with. Thank you to Coach Nomar, previous coach of EAC for being a friend as well as a coach to me. And most importantly thank you to my parents who watched every game, whether on TV or live, and took me there too.

I don’t know where I’ll end up next year but one thing’s for sure. Although it was an unfortunate beginning, it was definitely a promising ending to a story that’s definitely one for the books.

Click for pics.

When life throws you basketballs

If anything, one of the most important things I’ve learned from court side reporting is to always be ready. After all it is a live broadcast and time doesn’t wait for any body.

One of the things that made the initial report nerve wracking was that I didn’t know what to expect. As much as I familiarized myself with the process, no amount of preparation could fully prepare me for that first game. Experience is truly the best teacher because there are just some lessons that are meant to be felt rather than taught.

But never feel too comfortable because you never know what kind of basketball life could throw at you.

In other words, anything can happen on and off the court such as:

• The player you’re originally supposed to interview hasn’t shown up yet so you have just a couple of minutes to pull new questions out of your ear that’s relevant to your new interviewee
• After your half time Samsung report you end up going out the wrong end of the gym  so you have to run across the court to make it to the dougout in time to hear the half time huddle
• Your ear piece starts going funky and you can’t hear the panel introducing you so…
• You’re either not smiling when the camera is on you or panic begins to tongue tie your words
• Your player is injured so you have to investigate but that means less time to write/practice your report or in my case being disconnected from what the panel had already said about it
• Or my personal favorite: You’ve been waiting to deliver your 1Qtr report since the game started but your FD tells you to do it after the first time out. And just when the buzzer sounds he’s frantically motioning at you to come back. And as you hear the panel start to announce your name you’re still running back in a hurry!

So far that has been my experience in a nutshell. Ultimately I’ve realized that the ball is round and so is court side reporting. Anything can and will happen so you have to learn how to deal with the pressure with a smile.

When life gives you lemons, eat chocolate cake!

I’ve always had a sweet tooth. It’s the kind of aftertaste my mouth craves for whether it’s after a satisfying or a bad meal. Now with the certain turn of events, I realize that my affinity towards placating my meals with a taste of sugar goes beyond my appetite for food.

The last couple of days have been pretty rough, especially since I will no longer be reporting for FEU this UAAP season 73. I do not need to disclose the reasons here but the experience makes me realize that I have to accept that there are just certain things that are simply not in my control. Nothing more, nothing less. As Lena always tells me, this is my present, not my future. And I am not defined by this moment, only by the way I choose to overcome it.

What I am a little bit sad about though is not being with the team anymore. Although it’s only been 3 games, 1 cheer rally, practice and team dinner, I’ve become a bit attached in such a short span of time. I felt my heart tug a little when one of the boys chatted with me asking why I wasn’t there last Sunday. I learned a lot from them in terms of humility, hard work and teamwork.

As upsetting as it initially was, this weekend made me see how it’s personally not a big deal. Enjoying the night with my friends and being with my family made me see how my life is still pretty good. This is a small setback in the very large scheme of things. Something similar happened to me in high school and I remember just how great that ended up being.

As my heading says above, “I don’t deal in truths. But I’ve got stories” and when the appropriate time comes this one will definitely be one to tell.

So, in the words of John Mayer “There’s no such thing as the real world; Just a lie that I have to rise above. I’d like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve.“

Thank you to my friends, family and Keena’s birthday who makes eating that chocolate cake taste oh so good. Click to see why!

Fear Fatale – FEU Cheer Rally

If you can harness your fear and take its often gut-wrenching grip by the reigns, then you’re definitely in for a better ride. It can take you to places and make you do things that you never thought you had the courage to do until you finally put all your insecurities aside and just do it.

Initially I was hesitant to host the FEU cheer rally. Not that I’m not capable of hosting, but because it was totally out of my comfort zone on so many different levels. After all, it’s no secret that my tagalog isn’t exactly the best. Plus, any logical string of tagalog I can actually muster up is ripe with a conyo twang.  And it would be the first time I’d meet the school I was representing and vice versa.

But after a significant amount inner debate and debacle, I told myself that I have to stop letting fear make excuses for myself.  Panic for the unknown tends to over-exaggerate the future, making it seem much more foreboding than it actually is.

So, I took a deep breath and just dove headfirst into a pool of yellow and green.

Although I could’ve done better, given the circumstance the pep rally definitely turned out a lot better than I expected it to be, especially the part where I interviewed in TAGALOG. Ironically, that was my favorite moment haha. Actually, despite the initial insecurity what’s thrilling is when your instincts take over and kicks your fear fatale in the ass.  That’s when you know that everything is going to be okay.

With my first UAAP game just days away and many more potentially out-of-comfort-zone experiences to come, I know that this won’t be the last time I’ll feel this way.

But you know what? Despite the anxiety of taking the risk and putting yourself out there like this,  I certainly hope it wont be the last time I feel this way. Because if that was the case, then I’ll end up riding to  no where exciting.

This year’s Season 73 forecast is that my tagalog will definitely get better! Click to see pictures from the pep rally! Thanks to Aki for the pics!

Court Side Chronicles

Seven and a half years ago I started watching UAAP. I remember my adrenaline pumping and my screams roaring as Gec Chia made his unforgettable buzzer beater in Season 65′s semi-finals against the UE Red warriors.

Two years ago I entered college and cheered for my school as an official Atenean which made winning the season extra sweet.

One year ago my friend and I joked around that we should become court side reporters just because we thought our international twang would sound good on tv.

One month ago I walked into the ABS-CBN compound, aware that by entering into those doors, a window of opportunity could possibly open.

Fast forward to today and I would’ve never imagined that it actually would.

Three rounds and endless tortuous hours of anticipation later, the fact that I am actually an official UAAP court side reporter for Season 73 is still kinda surreal. It’s one of those things you always talk about but never imagined would actually come true.

It’s exciting yet frightening when you get your head out of the clouds only to realize that it’s not a dream anymore. You’re standing on real ground. My friends know how much and how long I’ve been patiently declaring to the universe for my time to come. And I’m really hoping it has.

Whether or not I would’ve gotten it, the experience of auditioning was well worth it. A story I would’ve looked forward to sharing with friends. There were so many equally or even more talented people around me, who not only have beautiful faces and killer smiles, but a charming personality as well. With the contestants, competition and callbacks  I couldn’t help but tell myself: This is how the contestants on American Idol must feel like!

I especially remember my second round of auditions where my nerves took a shot to my confidence and tangled my words up ALOT. I thought my performance was so terrible that I was ready to accept defeat – with myself as my number one contender. Personally, losing would’ve been okay. But losing when you know you it wasn’t your best makes for a sure knock out especially with no more rounds to go. I REALLY thought I blew it.

But God is kind and for some unknown reason someone out there believed that beneath that derange of inarticulateness was a person who made sense. I got a call back for the third and final round and I was determined to prove that it wouldn’t and shouldn’t be my last. With a smile on my face and conviction in my voice, what felt different this time around was that I told myself to just have fun and be myself. And I did.  Honestly, it makes a difference.

I know that this entry is long but words can not explain how extremely THANKFUL I am to have gotten this opportunity and to have such supportive friends and family who believed in me. Thank you God! Belief, I am now realizing is such a powerful feeling – whether it emanates from within you or the people around you.

As my dad told me last night “It was just there. You just had to open your eyes properly.”

My eyes are wide open right now and I’m excited to see what the future has in store for me. I remember telling my friends that if I got everything I wanted this year I would be more than willing to make the necessary sacrifices.

Even if it’s not my school, I’m excited to be part of this as a Tamaraw! Or as my tito says Tamaraw + Wings = Pegasus!

Special thanks to Job De Leon and Gab Aguila aka my “career consultants.” I wouldn’t be here without them : )

One of the past reports said to record everything. Take pictures! Write a blog! Which is exactly what I’m going to do because I want to remember every moment. Good thing I’m finally getting a camera again! Click to see pictures

2010′s Summer 10

Out of town count: 6

Book count: 2 & a half

Gimmik count: Too many to count

It’s the last weekend of summer and I like wrapping up any chapter of my life with a Top 10! It’s been pretty busy and eventful. A lot of expected and unexpected things happened. I’ve said things I shouldn’t have said, made friends I didn’t think I would and took the initiative to try things I’ve never done before.

Almost every day of the week  got me out of the house.  In the past two months I’ve been a working girl by weekday, party girl by weeknight and beach bum by weekend!  So, in no particular order here’s my list of the top 10 moments that made my summer of 2010!