Radiocracy

“Why the hell am I putting myself through all this stress?”

I constantly ask myself that question whenever I’m pushing myself and taking a risk. It’s not a bad thought to have. It’s a way to check and balance my work, keep myself driven (from dying, rather) and stay true to my original intentions. Last semester, Radiocracy, my thesis with Job, was one of those risks.

Almost a year has gone by since I first sent a DM via Twitter to him about the idea to  pioneer an Internet Radio program in Ateneo. Currently no campus radio station exists in school so I thought it would be cool to start and be part of something that could possibly be bigger than ourselves.

But that’s also what made it so scary, not to begin with, but to continue with some time  in the middle when it’s no longer just an idea but not exactly a reality either.

Plus, as ex-URock Dj’s and courtside reporters, talking is something Job and I enjoy doing. I’m planning to build a career on talking (broadcasting.) So, thesis was my excuse to revisit those Monday nights boarding in NU 107 which was always the high light of my week.

There are many ways to survive thesis. Every senior can give you their advice and insight. For me, I only have one:

As I said earlier, look at it as an excuse. An excuse to look like crap; to say no to a party/inuman you don’t feel like going to; to be anti social; to learn something new; to be an expert on a theory for future pretentious intellectual purposes; to meet (oggle) at Kirk Long; to ask Fr. Dacanay if he’s ever been in love before; to bitch and be in a bad mood; to cram 3 2-hour episodes in 2 school days; to push yourself; to be independent; to do or revisit something you love.

Thesis defense = excuse for comm majors to wear heels and dress up!

“Why the hell am i putting myself through all this stress?”

Well, for one thing thesis is required for graduation. So, if you’re going to be stressed out, you might as well stress out for all the excuses it’s worth, right?

Or for all the pictures its worth.

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Me: Job, what should we talk about today?

Job: I don’t know. I haven’t had the time to read or do anything interesting lately

Me: Me too. I just want to sleep. 

(Pause. We’re going on in 5 minutes.)

Both of us: Shit hahaha. How sad. 

In the Huddle with the Blue Eagles

Guests: Kirk Long, Kiefer Ravenna, Coach Sandy Arespacochaga

Me (to Kirk): Would you dye your hair blue if we make it to the finals?

Kirk:  I would

Me: How about you Kiefer?

Kiefer: Hahaha maybe if Coach Sandy does

(Remembering this interview from memory)

Dissecting the Discourse of student politics. 

Guests: Sanggu President Crew Capuyoc, The Assembly President Stefi Sales, Guidon Associate Editor Luther Aquino

What Would Fr. Dacanay Say: A Love and Relationship Forum

Job: Father, have you ever been in love?

Fr. Dacanay: Next question!

Role reversal. I get to ask the legendary Fr. Dacanay, infamous for his terror oral exams the questions!

(Mis)adventures with JTA and Student Interns

Guests: Arbie Baguios, Iya Joson, Lisha Bornilla

Pictured below: With Ms. Aisa and the ACOMM internet radio team! We couldn’t have done it without their help!

Job and Rica signing out :)

Commitment issues

It’s a rainy sunday afternoon within a 3 day weekend (among other 3-4 day weekends this August) and I promised myself that I would take the opportunity to write a series of life updates before I work on anything else. Despite being busy, it’s unlike me to not take a moment to write, but like everything else I’m learning about my senior year, I want to give the things I do the quality time it deserves. Which brings me to my next point…

Spreading myself too thin, which is acceptable only if it’s spreads vertically (aka weight loss) and not horizontally (being involved in too many things). Haha!

Last year this is how I originally envisioned my senior year to be: thesis, courtside reporting, academics, ACOMM EB, president of toastmasters, love life (HAHA kidding. Seriously, it’s not a priority). Someone once asked me “How are you planning to balance all of that?” to which my other friend replied “Si Rica toh, kaya niya yan!”

I love banksy!

Fast forward to the present and I realized that if things went according to plan “How the hell would I have been able to do all of that?”, at least without doing each thing half-heartedly and half-assedly. Luckily I had the sensibility (and guts) to say no to things I really wanted to do which have turned out to be such blessings in disguise.

Indeed less really is more. You can exercise freedom and find fulfillment in making a commitment. The more time you can invest into something, the more chances you have to explore, grow and make a difference in yourself and in others. Personally, that’s what makes any decision worth it. Before taking on the challenge meant taking on additional responsibilities. Now it’s to go in depth with them.

Although honestly I was looking forward to having a sense of continuity in my professional life. After last year’s enjoyable stint courtside reporting and dj-ing that made me realize that I wanted to pursue broadcasting after college, I’m currently doing none of the above. So much for the continuity I prided myself in finding last year, right?

From high school to college there seems to be a trend! I never noticed it until now. Is this part of my future too?

But the dream has definitely not died. If anything, the winds that carry them have gotten stronger.

To paraphrase what Conan O’ Brien said in his recent Dartmouth commencement speech about the Late Night fiasco, “It is our failure to become our perceived ideal … that can become a catalyst for profound re-invention. To this day I still don’t understand exactly what happened, but I have never had more fun, been more challenged—and this is important—had more conviction about what I was doing.”

In light of how things have turned out, like Conan, I have the time to reinvent myself and I feel it in my heart that I’m already starting to.

Cheerleader effect

What do you get when you inject the typically testosterone infested courts of basketball with a some estrogen? A cheer dance competition!

To wrap up the court side stint the courtside reporters of all the NCAA schools helped host the cheer dance competition complete with jersey dresses, short skirts (as in REALLY short skirts) and a whole lot of energy.

Now normally I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a cheer leading uniform. Even though I can be abnormally hyper at times and am able to pump up people pretty well, it’s a common misconception that I can pass for a cheerleader. Firstly, i’m not really built for it. Secondly, it’s because I never wanted to be.

But admittedly I am over exaggerating and it’s really not that bad especially once you get pass the general stereotype. Perhaps it’s just because i”m secretly jealous of their flat stomachs and ability to defy gravity through their bodies. They make fearless look fierce.

Plus,  it is fun to wear the uniform. The cheerleader effect is that it’s hard not to act the part when you’re wearing it. It’s even harder not to take all sorts of pictures because as girls, we’re vain like that.

Save the cheerleader? This time maybe not. Click to see why

Notes to self

Photo by: Pia Facundo

When the first semester started I told myself that junior year was going to be about two things: effectiveness and efficiency. Now that sembreak is fast approaching, I fear that I may be dwindling away from that path and taking the road that I most often take around this time in the school year: complacency.

It’s not good to feel complacent when there’s so much more that could be done much faster and much better. That’s the problem with a “make-bawi” attitude. Because you know you can, you run the risk that one day you just might can’t. Complacency is ambition’s worst rival.

Not that my grades are extremely suffering right now. At least I don’t think so. I just feel like I’m wasting the opportunity to be more on top of my crap than I am now because I’m lazy which is bad because that’s when i end up eating. A lot.

So, seeing as we have more or less one month left until our mid-year freedom, here’s my note to self about making the most out of the rest of the sem plus a couple of reckless realizations from this past month which I haven’t had enough time to blog about:

1. Pay attention in ComRes & Econ. As in really pay attention. I know I’m bored out of my mind but low levels of engagement = low LT scores. Disregard the fact that I know I can hammer textbook information into my head days before the test and still get a decent score
2. Get an A in Feature Writing, Philo and Advertising to compensate for my possible B’s in the two aforementioned classes above.
3. Not that I’m complaining about my weight or figure but I want to lose 5 pounds to be my sembreakbody’s finest for our epic-in-the-making CDO trip. That means going to the gym 3-4x a week because diet is not in my vocabulary
4. I know it might be stating the obvious but being sick really messes with your system or in my case, career. Border lining on no voice did not bode well for my EAC vs Mapua reports.
5. Interchanging your sports panelist names with those from your last game is never a good idea, especially when you do it twice consecutively.  Instead of listening in during the huddle,  I went up to apologize which the camera caught. See, the thing about making mistakes on TV is that they can replay it – in slow motion. FML.
6. I wish to blame number 4 on number 5 to make myself feel better about it
7. When you’re in charge it’s really hard to ultimately have to make the decision.  You have to trust your judgement enough so IF you’re judged you can back it up.
8. Reply to people’s texts (almost) instantly.
9. Experience may be the best teacher but it’s a pain in the ass to learn from
10. It’s nice to feel like a girl and go shopping with your girl friends once in awhile
11. I must stop compartmentalizing my life and start sharing and integrating it more amongst my loved ones. Being veridical is key.

Fear Fatale – FEU Cheer Rally

If you can harness your fear and take its often gut-wrenching grip by the reigns, then you’re definitely in for a better ride. It can take you to places and make you do things that you never thought you had the courage to do until you finally put all your insecurities aside and just do it.

Initially I was hesitant to host the FEU cheer rally. Not that I’m not capable of hosting, but because it was totally out of my comfort zone on so many different levels. After all, it’s no secret that my tagalog isn’t exactly the best. Plus, any logical string of tagalog I can actually muster up is ripe with a conyo twang.  And it would be the first time I’d meet the school I was representing and vice versa.

But after a significant amount inner debate and debacle, I told myself that I have to stop letting fear make excuses for myself.  Panic for the unknown tends to over-exaggerate the future, making it seem much more foreboding than it actually is.

So, I took a deep breath and just dove headfirst into a pool of yellow and green.

Although I could’ve done better, given the circumstance the pep rally definitely turned out a lot better than I expected it to be, especially the part where I interviewed in TAGALOG. Ironically, that was my favorite moment haha. Actually, despite the initial insecurity what’s thrilling is when your instincts take over and kicks your fear fatale in the ass.  That’s when you know that everything is going to be okay.

With my first UAAP game just days away and many more potentially out-of-comfort-zone experiences to come, I know that this won’t be the last time I’ll feel this way.

But you know what? Despite the anxiety of taking the risk and putting yourself out there like this,  I certainly hope it wont be the last time I feel this way. Because if that was the case, then I’ll end up riding to  no where exciting.

This year’s Season 73 forecast is that my tagalog will definitely get better! Click to see pictures from the pep rally! Thanks to Aki for the pics!

Court Side Chronicles

Seven and a half years ago I started watching UAAP. I remember my adrenaline pumping and my screams roaring as Gec Chia made his unforgettable buzzer beater in Season 65′s semi-finals against the UE Red warriors.

Two years ago I entered college and cheered for my school as an official Atenean which made winning the season extra sweet.

One year ago my friend and I joked around that we should become court side reporters just because we thought our international twang would sound good on tv.

One month ago I walked into the ABS-CBN compound, aware that by entering into those doors, a window of opportunity could possibly open.

Fast forward to today and I would’ve never imagined that it actually would.

Three rounds and endless tortuous hours of anticipation later, the fact that I am actually an official UAAP court side reporter for Season 73 is still kinda surreal. It’s one of those things you always talk about but never imagined would actually come true.

It’s exciting yet frightening when you get your head out of the clouds only to realize that it’s not a dream anymore. You’re standing on real ground. My friends know how much and how long I’ve been patiently declaring to the universe for my time to come. And I’m really hoping it has.

Whether or not I would’ve gotten it, the experience of auditioning was well worth it. A story I would’ve looked forward to sharing with friends. There were so many equally or even more talented people around me, who not only have beautiful faces and killer smiles, but a charming personality as well. With the contestants, competition and callbacks  I couldn’t help but tell myself: This is how the contestants on American Idol must feel like!

I especially remember my second round of auditions where my nerves took a shot to my confidence and tangled my words up ALOT. I thought my performance was so terrible that I was ready to accept defeat – with myself as my number one contender. Personally, losing would’ve been okay. But losing when you know you it wasn’t your best makes for a sure knock out especially with no more rounds to go. I REALLY thought I blew it.

But God is kind and for some unknown reason someone out there believed that beneath that derange of inarticulateness was a person who made sense. I got a call back for the third and final round and I was determined to prove that it wouldn’t and shouldn’t be my last. With a smile on my face and conviction in my voice, what felt different this time around was that I told myself to just have fun and be myself. And I did.  Honestly, it makes a difference.

I know that this entry is long but words can not explain how extremely THANKFUL I am to have gotten this opportunity and to have such supportive friends and family who believed in me. Thank you God! Belief, I am now realizing is such a powerful feeling – whether it emanates from within you or the people around you.

As my dad told me last night “It was just there. You just had to open your eyes properly.”

My eyes are wide open right now and I’m excited to see what the future has in store for me. I remember telling my friends that if I got everything I wanted this year I would be more than willing to make the necessary sacrifices.

Even if it’s not my school, I’m excited to be part of this as a Tamaraw! Or as my tito says Tamaraw + Wings = Pegasus!

Special thanks to Job De Leon and Gab Aguila aka my “career consultants.” I wouldn’t be here without them : )

One of the past reports said to record everything. Take pictures! Write a blog! Which is exactly what I’m going to do because I want to remember every moment. Good thing I’m finally getting a camera again! Click to see pictures