Lessons from Bella Swan about turning 21

I’m not very fond of Bella Swan. I find her incredibly annoying, whiny and her acting is terrible. She’s the girl I never want to be. But if there’s one thing I will give her props for is in knowing what she’s is certain about –that Edward is a vampire who wants her blood but still irrevocably loves him –and unrelentingly abides by these certainties, even if it can threaten her life.

I just turned twenty one years old last June 17. Last year I wrote about my transitions to twenty and how my life would turn beautifully real. After one year I have to say that my favorite thing about this decade is discovering some of the certainties of my life, those unquestionable principles that I will use to discover the rest of the world with conviction and honesty.

I haven’t been able to give a proper conclusion to last summer but it was definitely my most emotional one. No, I wasn’t depressed nor did I experience anything tragic. Whatever the trigger was, it was the most honest I’ve ever been with myself, friends and family.

It wasn’t that long ago when indifference used to be my problem. I hardly cried or really cared.  I felt numb. Now I can’t even keep track of how many times I’ve cried in the last 3 months. In between sobs I remember joking around to my best friend that I was being pathetic but she said that it was a sign that I’m growing. I haven’t grown “old” yet, but i am growing up, and now at 21 I can definitely feel the difference.

But despite that emotionally weird summer, after one week of school I was in such a a great mood, most especially on my birthday. Words can not express how immensely loved I felt that day. Weeks before my birthday I’m normally in such a birthday bubble.  I tend to think too much about whether or not to celebrate and if i was then how. It stresses me out.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been so busy lately but this year it hardly crossed my mind. I didn’t try so hard to make it mean something which ironically is what made my twenty first birthday so meaningful. It felt genuine. Like the Beatles said “The love you take is the love you make.” Love is the best way to enjoy your birthday. It’s not about the gifts or the parties.  So if you want a great day, make sure you give genuine love the other 364 days of the year and it will naturally reciprocate on your special day in different forms.

To me my birthday was the affirmation of all the certainties I’ve tearfully and honestly been struggling to figure out in the last two decades. So, even though I’m no Bella Swan, I’ll take my cue from her. After 21 years of living these are  some of the things I am absolutely positive about:

First, to know the people in my life I can truly count on.

Mej, my bestfriend birthday twin! Lena wasn't here though :(

New good girl friends are hard to find at this age :)

Second, to love the work I’m doing.

My AVP's surprised me with cake and asti martini!

Third, to recognize and appreciate the genuine love and concern of my family and the sacrifices they have made for me.

Birthday dinner at Cafe Juanita with my family. Not pictured is Ate Pia!

Fourth, to know that no matter what bad shit happens, there are and will always be good times.

Sharing a beer with another birthday buddy, Arbie Baguios!

ILGN reunion

Tags, tags!

Tags, tags.

Fifth, that I will always be curious about what life has to offer me.

It seemed like a good idea at the time

Every day we encounter so much clutter. For me, being 21 is not only knowing what matters but being able to shed away what’s not. Through thick and thin knowing these is what will always remind me to be happy and eternally grateful.

Happy blogday!

Hmmm truth?

I have quite a bit of back-blogging and life updating to do but first I wanted to take a moment to commemorate my blog’s birthday.

As of 3 days ago, April 27, senorica is now officially one year old and as of today has gotten around 12,465 hits (based on unique visitors per day) which I admit I’m pleasantly surprised about given my limited self-blog-promotion. A part of me still cringes and is scared at the thought of totally putting this blog out there, especially on Facebook.  But regarldess, this calls for a celebratory post because I’m proud at how loyal I’ve been in updating this quite regularly.

Blogs are my kind of life doodles. Over the years I’ve had my fair share of journals and planners but this has become my favorite way to scribble my life down. Although a part of me is aware about how public i’m making my private life, I still do because not only do I do it for myself, but the thought process involved helps in keeping my life feel sane.

After re-visiting some of my first entries here I figured I would dedicate this post to personal reasons why I believe in the power of the blog. I was genuinely amused at what I wrote and how I wrote about the events that transpired. Taking the time to look back made me realize that I was glad to have something to laugh and feel inspired about in the first place.

TWIN-ties

Mej and my 21st and 20th birthday party. June 26

I know that this post is about 3 weeks too late but photoshopping and photoblogging is my form of stress relief especially with an impending HELL WEEK which starts today actually.

It’s not often that you have a fraternal birthday twin who’s not your blood relative but is your best friend instead. Mej and I have known each other for almost a decade and this is the first time in years that we’ve celebrated this rare occasion!

Even though it was kind of last minute I’m glad that we decided to throw a joint party. I always say how i’d rather spend on experiences rather than material things because experiences last a lot longer and are worth so much more. Excuse the cliche but with karaoke, sushi, vodka, and good friends all together in one place at one time, it was the cherry on top of an already delicious birthday week.

I feel extreeeeemely blessed for how everything has unraveled in the last 20 years. The bad just makes the good feel even better. I think one of the greatest things about being this age is how the important things seem to have settled down into its permanent place in your life.

With everything that has been happening lately, June has proved to me that it is possible to have my birthday cake and eat it too. Click for more pictures!

When life turns real – Transitions to Twenty

Age is just a number, a timeline of which we string the moments of our life upon.  It’s an indication of who we were at a particular time and a measure of whether that person lives up to the person we’re supposedly mature enough to be.

That’s because age and maturity grow up together like two friends holding each other’s hands, guiding and often times disagreeing with each other along the way. Sometimes their arguments end in disappointment while other times they live harmoniously.  The challenge is in finding that balance.

So, the question is: What exactly does it mean to be 20?

Turning 20 is transitioning from the first decade of my life to the second. Turning 20 is numerically leaving teenage-hood behind even if in actuality I may still be in many ways juvenile. Most of all, turning 20 is a call that my life is about to turn real. Whether or not I’m mature enough to answer, it’s a number from a person that I can no longer put on hold – even if I wanted to.

“More than anything, this is the time that your life becomes real. And it is beautiful.”

When I asked some of my older friends what it meant to enter my twenties, these are some of the words of wisdom they shared. It’s the time when the world won’t hesitate to discriminate anymore and you’ll know enough to look back at it in the eye and draw your own line. What’s beautiful is being able to see it for what it really is and surviving.  What’s beautiful is experiencing reality and finding that balance despite of it.

As daunting as growing up may sound, I’m not scared. Because so far the past 20 years of my life have been beautiful and I’m certain that surviving the next 20 years will be as well.  Age may be just another number but birthday’s serve as a reminder that there are many things to be thankful for and many more to look forward to in the future.

I had a great 20th on the day itself birthday enjoying the simple pleasures of all these blessings. Thank you to those who spent the day with me and sent me all those wonderful messages. Click to see how my day went : )

Birthday brunch

“Rica, can you play some of your “modern” music please” – Ate Pia preparing for her birthday lunch @ the house

Since we’re 8 years apart I always tease my sister about her age whenever it’s her birthday because she’s kinda prehistoric compared to me (Hi ate, I know you’re reading this!) You know the generation gap is evident when someone asks you who Justin Beiber is. Either that or you actually have good taste in music (or live under a rock. )

I may have outgrown her alootttt in height but I hope to one day arise to her level of maturity. Perhaps that comes with age but  she’s always been pretty wise at every number she turns and that’s one of the reasons why I look up to her. Despite our obvious differences, I see a lot of myself in her – from our naturally gregarious nature to our love for sweets and the arts to our belief that simple serendipities is the key to happiness.

I’m saddened by siblings I know who are closer in age, but further apart at heart. Because even if we have 8 years between us  I could pretty much be talking to a friend – just one who nags more and annoyingly has the birth right to do so.

Anyways, she turned 28 on the 28th but today we had a small lunch at the house so she could celebrate with her friends. My mom is a FANTASTIC cook and baker so click to get a glimpse of the Facundo version of thisiswhyyou’refat. Pictures also include those from our dinner out in Chelsea. DISCLAIMER: Pictures might make you hungry